Five Ways to Tame Your Monkey Mind

Five Ways to Tame Your Monkey Mind

Monkey mind is easily explained as the constant chatter in your head. I can’t do this; What if it doesn’t work; What if they say no; Give up, etc. These are just a few examples of what you might occasionally hear it say. I often hear people say, “I’m sorry I overreacted,” or “It wasn’t me, I was just so frustrated” – immediately regretting their reaction to someone or something.

In this blog post, I will focus on managing your monkey mind and explain the main principles of how to learn to control it. If you want to be happier, increase your sense of overall well-being, and find a sense of calm, read on below:

1. Know That You Are in Control of Your Monkey Mind and That It Can Be Tamed

Imagine your body is a car: who is driving it - you or the mind? Every time I speak about this principle, I bring up the simple equation of E+R=O, which is EVENT + REACTION = OUTCOME. You can’t change the event, but you can change your response, which will change the outcome. When driven by the mind, the car is prone to outbursts and immediate reactions based on emotions and surroundings. When driven by you, you have full control. Your mind is also lazy and will always take the path of least resistance unless you start guiding it and taking ownership of your reactions.

2. Your Monkey Mind Is Like a Puppy – You Need to Train It

If you’ve ever had a puppy, you know what it’s like to constantly have to take it out. It goes to the toilet in your house, and you take it outside. Two hours later, it tries it in the house again, and you take it out. The story continues for days until the puppy remembers that the toilet is outside. Your mind works in the same way - it’s not going to miraculously stop thinking, but you can train it to the point where you are aware of your thoughts, acknowledge them, and let them go. It’s like the stages of learning, as an example, let’s think about driving:

a) Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetent - You basically have no idea what to do on your first lesson, and everything needs to be pointed out.

b) Stage 2: Conscious Competent – You know what to do, but you’re not yet ready to do it by yourself.

c) Stage 3: Conscious Competent – You’re ready to do it by yourself but still think about when to turn on the indicators or other controls.

d) Stage 4: Unconscious Competent – You no longer need to think about your next step; it becomes embedded within you.

3. Meditate

Meditation is the best way to train your monkey mind. The peace, quiet, and tranquility of meditation allow you to appreciate and acknowledge that the thoughts are there in the first place. If you are new to meditation and don’t know where to start, try apps such as Headspace, which has a fantastic 10-day, 10-minute introductory meditation course. For a deeper dive, consider reading "The Miracle of Mindfulness" by Thich Nhat Hanh.

4. Distract Your Mind

It’s not something I would recommend doing every time as acknowledging your thoughts is important. However, if you find yourself in a situation when your monkey mind chit-chats and just does not want to stop, try different distraction techniques. Occupying yourself with a task can be a good way for a distraction – read a book, write, or go for a walk or a jog. Physical activity releases endorphins which are proven to reduce stress and feelings of pain. My personal favourite to distract my monkey mind is counting my breaths 1 to 10 – 1 for the inhale, 2 for the exhale. Count to 10 and repeat until you feel it’s enough. If your mind wanders off, just bring yourself back and begin where you left off or start again. "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle is a great book to learn more about staying present and mindful.

5. Relax and Trust the Process

Buddha compared the brain to a tree with drunk monkeys swinging off of it, jumping, swinging, and screaming constantly. By allowing ourselves to release certain emotions and learning how to control them, we can slowly learn to live in peace with our monkey mind, which in turn will let you live a much happier life. It will also allow you to focus on the present moment, help you be more focused, and generally increase your sense of well-being.

“Remember: you can’t use your Chimp as an excuse. If you had a dog and it bit someone, you couldn’t just say, ‘Sorry but it was the dog, not me.’ You are responsible for the dog and its actions. Likewise, you are totally responsible for your Chimp and its actions. So no excuses!” ― Steve Peters, The Chimp Paradox: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

Love & light,

Mags x